Life After Transition.
|My Transitional journey and roller coaster ride lasted for nearly ten years and was a magical experience that only a person doing it would fully appreciate.When I started this journey I did not know wear it would take me ,I only had hopes and beliefs that it would give me the life I had always wanted and allow that person trapped inside to finally come into this world . My pages on my website im sure show you the journey I took with my travels to Thailand and other trips abroad. So whats life really like after TRANSITION.|
Now back up a bit Tina You really need to go back to a few years ago.
This is the story of how The Pink Butterfly Network came about
Several years ago when yahoo were running personal pages on its site called Yahoo 360 ,i struck up a friendship with a certain person called Chloe Prince and she was about to go to Suporn in Chonburi in Thailand to do her FFS Surgery and because she was a friend i made a point of logging onto a web cam every day to give here moral support because she was going through a rough time handeling the surgery . We talked a...bout certain ideas and she mentioned that she would like to start a social networking site for transgender people and said after looking round their was a platform provider called NING. . So after taking a look at the company on the internet who at the time were offering free platforms if you self build . All looked good to me and it also did to Chloe because she started Pink Essence and i went for The Pink Butterfly Network For Transgender People . Anyways the two social networks were launched and for some reason Chloe took offence towards me because she wanted to run with this idea on her own . Anyways after a series of nasty e mails from here our friendship parted . It all seemed very good at this stage but then after a year or so Nings free flatforms were taken away and i was contacted by Ning and told if you want to keep the social network going ,their will be fees being placed on doing it . So ok because of my support for all transgender people i decided to sink the cost myself for quiet some time ,and Dr Chettawut in Bangkok evan contributed $1000.00 to me to help with my sites on the internet and wire transfered this amount to my bank account . The problem is this as a site grows it used more band width for its content and obviously every new person that joins has their own page wich is useing more space on the site . Unfortunately its not always clear how much a site like that is actually costing in fees to keep on the internet, and because NING HAD MY BANK DETAILS ,they just took the site fees and helped their self . It became obvious that it was going to cost quiet a lot to keep this social networking site on the internet and with most people prefering to use face book ,i made the decision to close it down . The obvious choice now was to use social media that was free and face book fits that bill ,and that is why i built 4 groups and ten seperate pages and recreated The Pink Butterly Network on here. Its a popular choice and one that makes sence to be honest . As for chloe prince well she went on the tv in the usa ,claimed she got stung by a bee that brought on a sydrome that caused all her hormones to go wrong. We never got that friendship back unfortunately . But thats how Pink Butterfly came about on Face Book.
While building and running the Pink Butterfly Network in real life because of giving my career up at the company in Nottingham wear I transitioned I knew that I needed to find employment of some kind ,but instead settled for starting my own business . After much thought and deliberation I decided to go and take a course and learn how to do nails ,so become a nail tech . The course was easy for me learning how to do acrylic nails ( French tips ) and fibreglass tips and so on because of my skills with my hands and my artistic ability that I have had from being a child. Firstly I started off doing nails at home but quickly realised that I really needed a business premises and the story on this next link is how I built "Tinas Transform Nails " http://www.tinastransgenderworld.co.uk/tinastransformnails.htm
After a trip abroad for three weeks I came home to find the place had been trashed while I was a way in Thailand.
It was just after this that I had a bad accident at home and while up in the attic space in the roof of the house walked into a large wooden beam ,hitting my forehead so hard it virtually knocked me out ,I literally saw stars . A few days later I was in incredible pain and the first of the upper face infections started. After seeing my doctor and several facial consultants here in Nottingham ,they really didnot know what to do with it . This left me in a right cituation so I took the decision to contact all the surgeons in Thailand ,and after many months of struggling really bad Dr Chettawut in Bangkok e mailed me and told me to come to Thailand and he would see what he could do. The following link is the story of that trip back to Bangkok http://www.tinastransgenderworld.co.uk/myforeheadrepairtrip.htm
With another trip to Thailand under my belt ,but at least with the forehead sorted and fixed ,the problems started with staffing at Transform Nails ,basically it was a job to get anybody to work their despite putting adds in job centres and other work agencies. After turning lots of business down because their was only myself and one young girl in their with me and loosing a lot of money especially at weekends because of this ,I made the decision after great thought to close down the nail salon.
Its time for a couple of Photos at this stage
The first four are of Tinas Transform Nails and the one after that is the only photo I got on the forehead repair trip.
The Photo on the left was taken at the Miricle Grand Hotel in Bangkok when my flight got delayed for twelve hours and EVA airways collected us at Bangkok airport and took the whole of the passengers of the 747 flight back to London /Heathrow by coach across Bangkok to that hotel . They gave me a super room their at the hotel ,and I can still have fond memories of getting to know a lot of the other passengers off that flight while waiting the twelve hours to be shuttled by coach back to the airport.
The next video is also one of my memories of growing up in the 1950s.
A great video and a great lady the wonderful "Patsy Cline "
Ok ive better get back to my life after Transition
About this time ,dad was diagnosed with demetia little did we know it would turn out to be full blown Altzeimers ,and this over the next year or two would rip both mum and myself lifes apart. I t was a really tough time . I could see that all this was resting heavy on her and I tried my best to give the most support I could through these troubling times. Anyway dad did end up passing away ,I still remember that fateful day when I picked up the call and on the other end was hospital saying " im sorry to tell you ,your father has passed away " I don't think mum has ever gotten over it to be honest.
Despite things not being that good really I still maintained my interest in building internet sites that supported the Transgender community and put many sites up on the internet ,witch means you basically take a blank canvas and create something from scratch ,just like this site was many years ago when I first built it . One of the ideas I had was to launch a multi room chat room site on the internet with different rooms to cover all sorts of different people ,and so was born "The Pink Butterfly World wide Chat-Rooms , you can see it on this link . please note to use the chat rooms your device will need Java on it . this is the link. http://yahoo-pulse-friends-worldwide-network.webs.com/ .I think that this site was an innovation to be honest with its chat platform and its video chat rooms .
About this time disaster struck again and mum had two stokes and the second one put her in the hospital for seven weeks with a fractured hip as well . This meant daily visits to the hospital to go and see her day after day . Fortunately she did recover after some weeks but she was never the same again.
I really wanted to be employed again but knew that with mum I could not really go out and get a job that would take me away from home because mum needed full time care ,and I wasant prepared to have her put in a home ,we tried that with a rest bite period with my father before he died and it was a really bad experience . I was still seeing my ex Linda who always came to see us both at least once a month and I asked her if I was to take a trip abroad as much needed break if she would look after mum for me ,and she agreed to do this ,so I put my trip together in 2010 for my Trans American Trip. I am not going to tell that story here because I have a page on my website here that tells that story. This is the link to that trip : http://www.tinastransgenderworld.co.uk/mytriptotheusa2010.htm
About this time I also wanted to try my hand at starting a business up again and carefully looked at what I might be able to do from home because of having to look after mum as well ,and decided to utilise the land behind my house and build a plant nursery ,it was a natural thing for me because I had always been interested in horticulture all my life . The name I came up with for this is Pink Butterfly Plants . So in January 2010 I launched this business here in Nottingham. Obviously a new business is pretty much always slow to get off the ground and it surprised me really how well it took off and I was able in the coming years to expand this business and add more propagation and growing on areas as my customer base grew . The following link is quick look at the page on my website on this : http://www.tinastransgenderworld.co.uk/pinkbutterflyplants.htm
The business has been running for 6 years at the point of creating this page ,and ill probably keep it running till I retire at 66 ,that's the age I can legally retire in the UK ,and get state pension.
This is a couple of photos of Pink Butterfly Plants in case you cant follow that link above .
This had now solved the problem of being employed and allowed me to be around to look after mum while still running a business.
I still while doing all this showed great interest in maintaining my internet presence and maintained all my groups and sites on the world wide web and that included running the yahoo group Dr Chettawuts Girls Club witch I ran for a period of five years with its large membership and its 11,000 posts ,and technical information for transgender people doing surgery in Thailand . While on one of my trips to Bangkok ,Dr Chettawut took me out to dinner at the Dussit Princess at Seacon Square to personally thank me for all the support I had given to his patients while doing surgery with him in Thailand .: It was my pleasure to have been able to do this . This is a couple of photos next of mum and myself in Nottinghams Victoria shopping centre ,mum unfortunately is now wheel chair bound it also shows the well known water clock designed and built by EMETT. Hope you like
Hope you liked the water clock its just recently been taken away for a major renovation after being running right back from the 1970s when it was first built.
Ok back to life after Transition.
I have found great acceptance from people round me and my way of handling things is to face problems head on and not shy away from the problems in life and this im sure has stood me in great stead . Many people have come to know the real me and weather they know or not that im a post op trans woman does not seem to bother them in the slightest, and for this I am grateful.
A lot of trans people give great presence to being able to live in stealth mode after transition ,frankly this does not bother me at all ,because I have what ive always wanted and that's acceptance buy the people I know in real life and are around me day to day. Its all to easy to get obsessed by worrying about passing after transition and ok im not no oil painting myself ,but hey ho ,ive got got the respect of people in the community wear I live in Nottingham. Let me just add this ,can I , my greatest supporter has always been mum ,she has been my rock through the ten year period I did my transitional journey and again this has ment so much to me .
I just want to put a couple of photos up of me and mum out on shopping trips in Nottinghams City Centre ,taken a couple of years ago.
In the 1950s when I was a small child I often saw mother ironing washing and listening to the little transistor radio she had on at the side of her while she was doing this . Mum had a singer that she really liked ,and often commented how much she loved his songs ,so I wanted to share another video of mums love back in those days . This is Mat Monroe.
Im now upto 2012 with life after transition.
I really wanted to do something special for mum ,my greatest supporter over the years . And after giving it a lot of thought,i decided to put together a trip of a lifetime to take her on . So after looking at the options I decided it was going to be the USA. Mum had no passport she hadent been out of the UK in her life so all this had to be arranged and I had to take her to Derby to the passport office to have an interview ,but all was well she did get that passport and I fixed her up with some new clothes and shoes and we flew from Londons/Gatwick airport in September of that year to Orlando in Florida. This link is the story of that trip ....hope you like .
Just in case you cant open that link up this is a couple of photos from that trip to the USA
I did do one more trip to Thailand early on in 2012 and I went for a month to do a lower face lift with Dr Chettawut and unfortunately I didant get many photos of that trip . I was their for four weeks and did two weeks at the Baan Siri Rama Hotel and then after recovering from the surgery I took an internal flight to Phuket in Thailand and went to Patong Beach their and went to Pee Pee Island and Crabie ,these were the islands wear they shot the Bond Movie "The Man With The Golden Gun"
This would be my last trip to Thailand I had been six times over the years .
As a person I am content with my life and feel that everything I set out to do and more has been achieved and always watch with interest other peoples journeys and try and help them if I can .
I cant really ask for anything else in life because I achieved my goal and for that I am truly thankful Society can be cruel to people that are transgender but in the 37 years that ive been active as a trans person ,ive seen massive strides forward with things like the gender recognition act that was passed in the uk some years ago . Im sure that the people who also choose to go and find their true inner selfs will have a smoother ride than I did when I first set out all those years ago " Society has changed " it truly has .
I could go on telling stories of life after transition but it would fill a book to be honest and I am sure that you get some idea from this page have got some idea of what life has been like after TRANNSITION for me.
Every day is a new challenge and a persons journey never really ends till they die .
For I have found true contentment
Love And Light
Tina Marie Phillips.