TinasTransgenderWorld

........One ...Womens ...Battle ..With ...Transsexuality......

 

     

 

                                                                                                        

 

I was born in a place called Old Basford  in Nottingham in  1955  just a few years after ww2  it was a time of rationing because of the world war and times were tough to say the least. My mother bore me in the  Firs Hospital,Nottingham.   My father Geoffry came from Newark on Trent about 21 miles from Nottingham and used to commute into see my mum when they were courting.   At the time my father worked for "Worthington & Simpson " and that's wear he helped hand build pumps for some of the mighty ocean liners ,like the Queen Mary ,now anchored at Longbeach in the USA as a floating display their . After I was born in 1955 and they had me they had to decide on a name.

After much debate my parents decided to call me Paul ,it nearly ended up being Peter. 

My  father was an aircraft fitter in ww2 and worked on the Spitfires that helped win the "Battle Of Britain" . He was stationed with the American Guys who flew the B17 Flying Fortresses that flew out of the English airforce bases during ww2. The Memphisbell Lynn guys .

From a young age I displayed unusual behaviour preferring to play with bits of old cloth and make cloth dollies out of this .  We also made POM.POMS out of old bits of knitting wool left over from knitting projects .  This was the era of the great Rock and Roll artists and my earliest memories were of Elvis Presley and Cliff Richard ,these were stars at that time that were setting the trends in music .

They did take photos of me as a baby but unfortunately I don't still have these now and one of the earliest I could find was one of me sitting in an old tin peddle car out on the back of the house.

                           The Photo up above is that little boy in that old tin peddle car  .  I was just4 years of age and little did I realise what turmoil was going to happen in my life as I grew up.     

At the age of five my parents decided to move to another place to live and after being on the waiting list for what seemed like ever we eventually moved to wear I am now and still live 55 years later on .   This was what I can only describe as rather funny times for me because things were starting to happen in respect of feeling outwardly wrong in some way .   Its difficult for a five year old   to evan start to comprehend what was wrong and little things stand out now that didant then so much ,like when my cousin Sandra came with my aunt and uncle we would want to play things like Hairdressing    and Dressing up. and not really the sort of things boys want to do .      .

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                       Just A Little Foot Note

My fathers farther who was my grand father also hails from Newark as well used to drive for the L.N.E.R. RAILWAY ,so my grandfather drove the mighty express trains that used to run up the east coast main line . During world war two he drove the ammunition trains that moved the armaments during those really bad days of war .   My grandfathers claim to fame was when the famous locomotive "Mallard" did its record breaking steam run on the Castle Bytham stretch and reached the world record speed of 127 miles an hour for just a few yards on that fate full  day ,my grandfather actually was sent out to bring it back in after its fire box had practically fallen out after the run.  The following video shows the mighty Mallard ,one of the streamlined express trains design ed  by the famous chief mechanical engineer "Sir Nigel Gresley".

                                                                            The Mighty Mallard

     

 

I was five years of age now and mother wanted to get me in school and I ended up going to Robin Hood Infants school and then onto the junior school .  These were puzzling times for me because I had no clue as to what was actually wrong ,but I knew for sure something was ,but how does a five year old try and discuss something like this ,you cant evan find the starting point of trying to explain your self .   It was not easy at that point to try and stop myself looking at girls with envy because this sad little boy did not really want to be who he was and instead wanted to be like all the other girls in his class at school.  Well weeks went into months and months into years and by the time I had reached secondary school things were definitely no better,in fact a darn site worse .

Most boys at that age when starting to reach puberty probably handle all this with no problems but for me it was different . I knew that their was a definite problem with something to do with Gender but as to what it was ,I had no clue at all. 

Once I had reached the teenager stage it was pretty unbearable seeing things like body and facial hair starting to appear and I was starting to feel depressed with the whole issue.  Remember in those days things like I would realise I had in years to come was virtually never heard of I had not become public even if it was in existence .  My final years at school left me depressed on many occasions and even once or twice feeling suicidal .

In my last year at school I was selected to join the school drama group that put on plays and pantomimes in front of audiences of 1000 people for runs of a week at a time . This I found to be a way of being able to express myself in many rolls ,and once even being picked to play a female role in one play ,witch kind of amused me really because nobody out their knew what was happening with me as far as gender dysphoria was starting to take a grip badly.

After eventually leaving school at fifteen and needing a job or a career to move onto it became obvious that because I had not been to college the options were pretty small and after a couple of people who I went to school with decided to go into mining I to took that route and signed on at Moorgreen Training School and this started some really bad times for me ,because it was not what I really wanted at all ,in fact I really fancied training up and going into hairdressing ,but this would have been frowned upon and thought of as being to sissy ,so that idea went out the window.

It was a matter now of trying to bury my feelings and get on with the job of working several hundred yards below ground in that dirty mucky world that was total blackness a sortof hell in real life and despite this I still grew my jet black hair out until it had reached my waist at the back and had to tuck it in under my pit helmet for safety  reasons. I would eventually end up at Gedling Colliery and worked the day shifts their and actually worked the coal face . The video is actually Bestwood Colliery ,that's close to wear I live now.

 

     

 

was lucky enough after just a couple of years to be able to get out the pits and secured a job in the city centre at a company called Sisson &Parker ,this was a school supplies company and one of the oldest in Nottingham . I worked FOR SEVEN YEARS  their till it closed.

The Start Of The Regression

For anybody that does not no what regression is ,well ill explain , Regression is a Transsexual person trying to move away from the feelings that engulf them in day to day life and try to destroy this person and regressing is the act of trying to move away from this .  Unfortunately if you suffer from transsexulism it hardly likely you would be able to do this ,and in my case after a couple of attempts I just chucked the towel in and gave in .  

Another way of trying to move away from ones feelings is to falsely put yourself into a relationship ,that may well be doomed really from day one ,it certainly did not work for me and after a couple of fruitless relationships that I ended finishing myself because I didant feel in my heart it was right to subject somebody to commit to a relationship that was probably doomed from the start.

By now I needed something else to occupy my mind and pending thoughts  of possible suicide and took up DJ-ING round Nottingham with my own road show "The Startracks Disco and Lightshow"

 

     

 

     

 

Little did I realise that some years later I would be doing spots DJ-Ing at night clubs round Nottingham as Tina Marie Phillips.

By now I was 27 years off actually transitioning in real life .

The next few years were purgatory to say the least and after a failed attempt to get some help with my problem I rang a gay switch board up here in Nottingham and asked for help. These people were more than helpful to me and told me about the Chamelian Group based in Nottingham and as it turned out these were the oldest established Transgender /Transsexual support group in the United Kingdom ....The following photo is me finally coming out inpublic on one of my first times ( excuse the photos are bad shots )

 

     

 

                                      Onwards And Upwards

 It would be a number of years before my dream would come to into place and after two failed suicide attempts wear mother saved the day buy phoning an ambulance  I eventually got to see a sympathetic doctor who wanted to help me . He fixed up  sessions with a councillor  for me and all seemed set for things to fly ,well that was until my mum had a breakdown and sooner than push her over the edge even more I stopped any plans at that point to fully transition.

It was only after 20 years later after a further viset to that Transgender support group that somebody told me about Russell Reid and after a phone call the rests history really ,my website tells the rest of my story with my  transition, but ill finish here by just adding two more photos of me practising my dj-ing at home so I might go and do the spots at Nottinghams Caberet Club wear I organised Transgender /Transsexual evenings . The track in the you tube video at the bottom was my signature track  ( Rocket To Your Heart --Lisa )

 

   

 

     

 

   
 

                         From This                                                                                         To This